Missing
by Waywardgoddess666
Summary: After coming back from hell, Dean realises he forgot about the woman he loved. After finding out she's been missing for nearly a year, they race against time to find her alive.
1. Chapter 1

**Missing**

 **A/N -** So, new story! This is set before the finale of season 5, before Lucifer is freed. I have taken a few liberties, and will be changing up the story to fit my story. I hope you like it and any feedback is much appreciated!

 **Chapter One**

My world ended the day Dean went to hell.

I could do nothing but watch, along with Sam, as Lilith's hell hounds tore him to shreds in front of us, until his chest looked like raw meat, his eyes turning glassy and his head slumping to the side.

I wanted Lilith to kill me. I begged her too, and she certainly seemed willing, her eyes turning white as she raised her hand, and I closed my eyes, a small smile on my face as I welcomed death.

But it never came.

I had dropped to the floor panting, watching as she scrambled back away from Sam, before smoking out and leaving Ruby's body on the floor next to Dean's.

Sam immediately went to his brother, holding him as he cried out his name, his tears steadily falling onto the torn up body. Because that's all it was now. A body. A hell hounds discarded chew toy. It wasn't Dean anymore, he had gone to hell. His soul ready for the rack, to be tortured for a millennium until he turned into one of the black eyed sons of bitches he killed.

Or had killed.

I could only sit there, slumped on the floor, and watch as Sam mourned for his brother, as he picked up his brother's body, leaving me on the floor. I don't know if it was shock, but I couldn't move. All I could do was stare at the deep red blood staining the floor where Dean had laid, begging myself to wake up from this nightmare. Sam had returned at some point, picking me up off the blood soaked floor and carrying me to the Impala without saying a word.

We had followed Bobby as we all drove back to his house, the car silent. I could feel Sam glance my way every now and again, but I was still in shock, just staring straight ahead, my mind replaying the moment the light left Dean's eyes. The moment I knew I'd lost him forever.

Sam had refused to give him a hunter's funeral. He said that Dean would need his body for when he came back, then he disappeared, not bothering to let me near nor Bobby what he was going to do or where he was going. We knew what he was going to do. Another demon deal. Another deal to trade his soul for Dean's in the pit. To sacrifice himself for his brother, just as his brother had sacrificed his life for him. Both of them unable to live without each other.

Two months went by and I hadn't heard anything. Bobby spoke to him sporadically but never in length about what he was doing. I think Bobby was just relieved that Sam was still here, that he hadn't done something stupid.

So, I left.

I knew Bobby worried about me; I hadn't cried or even spoke about Dean since his death, despite his many attempts to get me talking. I had shut down, my heart had a hole ripped through it, leaving it a tattered mess inside my chest and talking about it wasn't going to heal it. I'd lost someone hugely important in my life, someone who I had loved with my entire being, despite never being able to act upon it.

And now I never could.

Even if it had been one-sided, if he didn't feel the same way, maybe it would have made a difference t how I felt now. But I doubted it.

For the first month, I kept in touch with Bobby, letting him know I was fine, giving him small updates on what I was doing. I'm not sure if he missed me when the phone calls stopped. If he had continued to call, not giving it a second thought that all my cells had died or been disconnected. Asked around if anyone had seen me, heard of me. Maybe if he had, I wouldn't be in the position I found myself in now.

I slowly lifted my head, looking up at my torturer stood in front of me.

"How's my favourite girl doing?" he taunted, picking up a large knife from the table at his side.

I was hanging by the wrists from the ceiling, my feet barely touching the floor. I'd grown used to the pain, to my impending death. At first I screamed, I begged, pleaded with him to kill me. But all I heard was his laughter. I didn't know how long I'd been here. Days, weeks, months. It had become a blur of torture and pain, giving me a small respite to recover slightly before starting all over again.

He ran the knife down my side, blood flowing freely down my side. I scrunched up my face in pain but made no noise. What was the the point?

"I'd have thought the Winchester's would have found you by now,"

"Dean's dead," I whispered, "And Sam is..."

He placed the flat side of the knife under my chin and raised my head. "Oh, but you're wrong sweetheart. Dean is very much alive and hunting with his brother."

I weakly shook my head. "He went...went to hell..."

He laughed. "He did. But now he's topside," he tilted his head, tapping the knife on his cheek. "Maybe I should have told you that little titbit sooner..."

"You're lying..." I croaked a little louder.

"I take no pleasure in telling you this," he threw his head back, laughing loudly. "Oh, wait. Yes I do! He's been back for, oh, about a year now. Pesky angels pulled him out of the pit. I have proof for you. A little video taken a few weeks ago." He pulled out his cell and pressed play.

I watched as Sam and Dean fought off a couple of demons, killing them both before wiping the blood off their weapons and walking back to the Impala. "That...that could have been...been taken before he died," I said quietly, doubt clouding my thoughts.

He smirked. "You're right, it could have. But you know I'm not lying, you just don't want to believe it."

I felt sick. Finding out from a demon that Dean was still alive was like a sucker punch to the gut. But knowing that they weren't looking for me, that they didn't seem to know or care I was missing, was truly heart-breaking. "I...I..."

He stepped forward, his fingers grazing my cheek as he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "They don't care about you," he whispered in my ear. "Dean came back from hell, and they didn't bother to look for you. They didn't even think about you at all. You will die here knowing you meant nothing to them."

Tears slid down my cheeks. He was right. They didn't care. They never did. "Please, just kill me. Please," I begged.

He smiled. "Oh, I will. In due time sweetheart. In due time."


	2. Chapter 2

**Missing**

 **A/N -** Feedback is greatly appreciated and keeps me writing!

 **Chapter Two**

"Boys, we have a problem."

Dean looked over at Sam and put the phone on loud speaker. "What is it Bobby?"

"Ava is missing."

Dean frowned. "Ava?" He hadn't thought about her for months. "I thought she...how long?"

They heard him sigh into the phone. "I'm not sure. A few months, maybe more. I haven't seen or heard from her since she left a couple months after you went to hell."

"What the hell?" He turned to Sam, "You didn't stay with her?"

Sam looked down at his hands, "I was pretty messed up, Dean. All I had on my mind was bringing you back."

"And after you couldn't bring me back? After you started hooking up with that demon bitch Ruby? You didn't look for her then?"

Sam shook his head. "No," he said quietly.

"Bobby? Tell me you found something,"

"Look Dean, she was different after you died. Real quiet and withdrawn. Wouldn't talk about you at all. She left not that long after, told me she needed time," he sighed, "I called her, left messages, but I didn't think nothing of it when she stopped answering. Then you turned up at my door and...well...anyway, I've had the feelers out, but nothing so far."

The boys looked at each other, Sam grabbing the phone as they both jumped into the Impala. "Have you tried her other phones?"

"Are you really that dumb, Dean? Course I tried calling all her phones, ya idjit," Bobby cursed down the phone. "All disconnected, no voicemail and can't get a track on them either."

Dean could hear the panic in his voice. Ava had been like a daughter to him, like a sister to Sam. To him? She had been so much more, but he'd always been to chicken to tell her. Even when he knew he was going to hell. "Where was she headed Bobby?"

"Last I heard, she was headed to some boondock town near Kansas," he went quiet for a minute, "I've been hearing rumours, boys,"

Dean paused. "What kind of rumours?"

"Demons. Demons took her."

He started the engine, pulling out onto the road with a screech of his tyres. "Send us the coordinates, we'll get there as soon as we can."

"Find her, boys."

"We will Bobby." Sam promised before hanging up.

"What the hell, Sam!" he roared, pressing his foot down on the accelerator. "You were supposed to keep an eye on her!"

"Dean, like I said, I was pretty messed up. She stayed at Bobby's after I left to try and bring you back." he said, "Then when you did come back..." he trailed off.

"We forgot her," Dean said, hitting the steering wheel. "Son of a bitch!"

"We'll find her Dean," Sam reassured him, trying to reassure himself too. "Maybe she caught wind of a bigger case? Or stopped hunting altogether? Demons lie all the time,"

Dean shook his head. "She wouldn't leave a case she was already on, even if it was bigger. And I don't think she'd stop hunting. Plus, her phones..."

"We need to track them, find out what happened to them, where she was last seen or if she moved onto another town," Sam said, quietly, not wanting to think about what might have happened. "She's a good hunter Dean. We'll find her."

He nodded. "Maybe Cas could help?"

Sam raised his brows. "Castiel? That seems a bit far fetched, don't you think?"

Dean shrugged. "I'm clutching at straws here Sammy. We need to find her." He cleared his throat. "Er...Castiel...we could really use your help..."

The car went silent, both of them hoping that the angel who pulled Dean from the pit, would answer their prayer.

"Dicks," Dean muttered. "We'll find her Sammy," he said, pressing his foot down on the accelorater. "We have too."

Dean pulled up outside the motel Bobby had told them Ava had been seen a few months ago. He grabbed his gun, the photo of her he kept with him, and headed towards the reception.

The guy behind the counter briefly glanced up as they walked into the room. His greasy hair was slicked over his very obvious bald spot, wire framed glasses perched on his bulbous nose as he squinted at them. "Single or double?"

"Two queens," Dean said, handing over a credit card.

"Thanks Mr..." he looked at the card, then back up at Dean. "Butts. Seymour Butts?"

Dean grinned and shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, you don't happen to know if this girl," he showed the clerk the photo of Ava smiling, her arms wrapped around Dean's waist, "if she stayed here a few months ago?"

He glanced at the photo. "I see a lot of faces in this line of work."

"Look again," Dean let out a sigh. "Please. She's my sister and I'm trying to find her."

The clerk looked at the picture a little more closely, sliding his glasses down his nose and squinted. "Yeah, yeah I remember. Only because she trashed her room, then disappeared and left all her stuff behind. That was maybe 4-5 months ago?"

"You didn't see her leave?" Dean asked, frowning.

The guy shook his head. "Nope. She did pay for the whole week, left a few hours later. I packed up her stuff for payment for the mess she left the room in."

Sam walked up to the counter. "Do you still have it all?"

"Yeah, sure, it's in the back," he walked into the room behind him, shuffling about before bringing out a box covered in dust. "Here you go," he slid it across the counter along with their room key. "I hope you find your sister. Checkout is 12pm."

Sam grabbed the box while Dean took the keys and slid over a twenty. "Thanks."

They walked to their room, opening the door and placing the box on the table. Dean reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a small blade and sliced through the brown tape holding the box closed. Reaching inside, he pulled out a bunch of clothes that were neatly folded and placed them on the table.

"These haven't been worn," Sam said, picking up a suit jacket from the pile. "Dean, this is her FBI suit."

They looked at each other, dread flowing through them both at the thought of what could have happened.

Dean tipped the rest of the contents onto the table, make up and toiletries falling out. Her phone was the first thing Dean noticed and he picked it up. It was the only phone in the box. The battery was clearly dead. "Sam, can you get the bunch of charger cables we have in the Impala? One of them has got to work to charge this thing,"

Sam nodded and walked out of the room, returning with the chargers. "Here," he handed them to Dean and sat back down at the table.

Dean sat on the bed, going through each charger until he found the right one. "Yahtzee," he said, plugging it into the wall socket. He returned to the table, picking up all her I.D badges. "What happened Sammy?" he mumbled, looking at each badge. "She's been missing for months and not one of us thought to check up on her?"

Sam shook his head, picking up a manilla folder. "I know. We need to figure out why she came to town in the first place." He opened the folder and flicked through it. "Looks like she caught wind of some vamp activity."

"What, she's chasing vamps, now? Alone?" Dean said, picking up the small silver blade she usually kept with her at all times. He had given it to her on her 18th birthday. "This isn't good Sammy. The clerk said she was here for a few hours at most, all of her belongings were left here, including her weapons, badges, clothes, you name it. She left with nothing but the clothes on her back."

Sam leaned back in his chair and flicked through the file. "I don't understand why she came here for a couple of vamps. And there's not really any solid evidence that it was vamps in the first place. A few cattle mutilations and two bodies found with neck wounds, that were put down as an animal attack. No other suspicious activity in the area, not really much of a case. She wouldn't have just come to this town because of that. Unless she was really here to do something else? Maybe trying to make a deal?"

Dean frowned and shook his head. "No. Any crosswords would have done. Something was following her maybe? Watching her?"

Sam looked up at him. "We need to find out what happened. We need to find Ava."


	3. Chapter 3

**Missing**

 **A/N -** Feedback is always appreciated!

 **Chapter Three**

"Please...please...stop..."

The demon threw another bucket of cold water over me, laughing as I hung there shivering, my eyes squeezed shut and my teeth chattering. "P...p...p...please..."

"Why would I stop?" he taunted, "when I'm having so much fun?"

I couldn't take much more, and I could feel my body starting to give up, knowing that Dean was alive, that he'd been alive for months and hadn't even thought about me, my heart was broken.

Another blast of ice cold water broke me from my thoughts and I coughed and sputtered, scrambling backwards trying to get away from him. But I only ended up swinging back towards him, my toes scraping across the wet concrete floor. The chains dug into my wrists, and I tried to pull myself up in an effort to stop the chains from digging into my wrists further, but I was just too weak, making the chains rub against the already broken skin, and I winced as I felt blood run down my arms.

He laughed as he dropped the bucket to the floor with a loud clang, making me wince, and walked over to a window at the far side of the room. "It' a little stuffy in here, don't you think? Let's get some air in here."

I dropped my head to my chest, my whole body trembling. As soon as he opened the window, I could feel the cold air swirl around me, making my teeth chatter. I closed my eyes, refusing to let him see the tears threatening to spill.

He walked back over to me. "I'll leave you to hang out to dry for a while."

I let out an involuntary sob and he laughed as he walked out of the room, slamming the door closed behind him.

"Hey Ava, It's Bobby. Not heard from you in a while. Call me kid"

Dean listened to Ava's voicemails, a frown on his face.

"It's Bobby. Just checking in. Call me."

"Ava, just let me know you're ok. Call me."

"'sighs' It's Bobby. Call me back."

"Ava, it's about Dean. Call me."

He put down the phone and rubbed his face with his hands. "The last message was left 2 days after I came back." He looked up at Sam. "And ot one message from you Sam. They were all from Bobby."

Sam looked down at the floor. "I didn't..."

Dean stood up and started to pace the room. "No, you didn't, did you? One cal Sam, one call, and I'm betting she would have answered. But you were too busy shacking up with Ruby, a demon, not even thinking about her at all." He sighed and sat back down at the table. "What did we do, Sammy? We were both so caught up in this angel crap. Lilith breaking seals, we didn't even think about her at all."

Sam sat down opposite him. "You're right, I should have called her, and I feel awful that I didn't. We were both messed up, and I was so focused on my own grief, my determination to bring you back that I forgot about her. Left her with Bobby, not even thinking about how she was coping with your death." He slid the file they had found in her belongings over to Dean. "She was tracking some vamps. A small nest by the looks of things."

Dean opened the file and flicked through it. "We need to go back and check out if, and when the vamp activity stopped."

"I'll call Bobby. He might know if any other hunters passed through town at about that time."

"Yeah, thanks Bobby."

Dean raised his brows. "Well?"

"He said he would check it out and call us back." Sam said, placing the photo on the table.

Dean sighed and nodded.

"So, get this," Sam turned the laptop around, "the file she had was wrong. Four bodies with major neck injuries and two missing. I'm guessing the vamps took the missing and either turned them or kept them as their own personal blood banks."

Dean skimmed through the report. "Puncture marks were found all over the body and blood loss was significant but barely any blood found at the scene." He squinted at the screen. "This was all in the same week, and it stopped as quickly as it started. No more bodies, but the investigation into the missing people is still ongoing."

Sam frowned. "She was missing before the third vic was found. There's no mention of any 'FBI' involvement. I'm guessing that the nest moved onto the next town."

Dean stood up. "If the vamps took two people, maybe they took her as well? I know Bobby said demons, but he could be wrong."

Sam shook his head. "They stuck around long enough to kill another two people and take two more. Ava was already missing." He sighed. "I think Bobby's right..."

The sound of his cell phone ringing cut him off, and he picked it up. "Bobby," he put the phone on the table and put it on loud speaker.

"Boys, I checked with some other hunters," he said through the phone, "the vamps ran through two more towns before a couple hunters I know took them down. Ava wasn't with them."

"Damn it," Dean said, before sighing. "So, it's definitely demons."

"Looks like," they heard him shuffle about before speaking again. "I might have a lead. There's talk doing the rounds, about a girl that used to hunt with the Winchester's."

"Where did you hear that?" asked Sam, a little sceptical.

Dean frowned. "I don't care where you heard it from, I just want to know where she is. Bobby, tell me it's something solid."

Bobby sighed. "I'm not sure. From what I've gathered, someone put out the order for her to be taken alive."

"Lilith?"

"That's what I'm thinking," he said, "She's trying to distract you boys while she keeps breaking seals."

"Fuck the seals. And fuck those winged dicks too. They won't help us, so we won't help them. Finding Ava is more important." Dean sighed. "We failed her Bobby. We let this happen and we need to fix this," he said quietly.

Sam shifted in his chair. "We could ask Ruby..."

"No." Dean said, loudly. "We are not asking that demon bitch."

"She could help us..."

"Help us?" Dean said, incredulously, "help like when she got you to use your powers? Help like she did when she got you addicted to demon blood?"

"Dean, he has a point..." Bobby said quietly.

"Are you kidding me? Your agreeing with him?"

"Look," Bobby said, "it's not ideal but we have to think of the big picture here. She might be able to help us track down the demons who took Ava."

He shook his head. "No." He took the phone off the table. "Bobby, keep looking for more leads." He ended the call before Bobby could say anything else.

Sam sighed as he watched his brother pace, his jaw tense. He knew Ruby could help, and if it meant going behind his brother's back to find Ava, then he would do it. "So, what now?"

"We catch ourselves a demon."


	4. Chapter 4

**Missing**

 **A/N -** I will be changing things up a little with my fic, not exactly following what happened in the s4 finale. One thing is that Sam finished the detox in Bobby's panic room, and Dean didn't agree to serve the angels. If anything else changes, I will let you all know. As always, feedback fuels my delicate ego.

 **Chapter four**

"Where is she?"

The demon tied to the chair in front of them was breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath. "For the tenth time, I don't know!"

Dean threw another bucket of holy water over him, his screams echoing around the room as his skin sizzled. "You're lying."

"Aarrgghh!" the demon screamed, "I don't know! I swear I don't know!"

Sam handed another bucket to Dean, then stepped back and sat down.

"Wait! Wait!" he yelled, "I don't know where she is, I swear! But I know someone who might,"

Dean set the bucket down on the floor and glanced at Sam. "Talk."

"I heard a couple demons talking about her, about having the Winchester's pet,"

"Name?"

The demon smirked. "Their name is screw you dickwad," He threw his head back and laughed, "You really thought I'd tell you? I'm dead either way."

Dean calmly picked up the bucket and placed it on the table. The demon watched as he picked up a syringe and filled it with holy water before turning and walking over to him.

"What are you doing?" he asked, struggling against the restraints holding him to the chair, "No, no, stop, no...aarrgghh!" He screamed as Dean plunged the needle into his neck and emptying the contents into him.

They watched as the demon's veins turned red underneath his skin, making it look like he had lava running through his veins.

"Please! Look! If I tell you, Lilith will have my head..."

Sam stood up. "So, it's definitely Lilith who gave out the order?"

He nodded. "As soon as you," he nodded at Dean, "broke the first seal, she knew she could use her to manipulate the two of you, so she could break the final seals."

"Is she still alive?" Dean asked, walking back to face him, hope evident in his voice.

The demon tilted his head and smirked. "She might be, but then again," he leaned forward, "demon's lie," he laughed loudly.

"You son of a bitch," Dean muttered, grabbing the demon knife next to him and slammed it into the demon's neck, watching as his eyes widened and mouth dropped open as he flashed orange before he yanked the knife back out.

Sam sighed. He wanted to Ava just as much as Dean but killing demon after demon for information was going nowhere fast. "That's the third demon we've tried to get information from, Dean, and we're not even close to finding out where she is or if she's even alive."

"She's alive," Dean snapped before sighing, "She has to be alive." He slumped down into a chair and grabbed a bottle of whiskey off the table, unscrewing the cap and taking a long swig, relishing the slight burn in his throat as he swallowed. He'd never forgive himself for forgetting about her, and if she was already dead because of him...he shook his head slightly. No, he thought, she's alive. He was sure of it. He slammed the bottle onto the table and stood up, about to say something to Sam when his phone rang.

"Bobby," he pressed loudspeaker, "please tell me you've got something,"

"Maybe. Demon going by the name Ben," he said, "moving from town to town making deals. According to my source, he's been holed up in some abandoned house not too far from where you are now, for the past 6 months. Word on the street is he works for Lilith."

Sam frowned. "Your source?"

He chuckled. "The very talkative demon I have strapped up under a demon trap."

"Oh great, demon whispers. That's reliable." Dean said, rolling his eyes. "And why is he telling you all this?" he asked skeptically, "What's the catch?"

"As far as I know, none. But I ain't buying it. Making out it's a bit of demon on demon revenge. Figures he might as well tell me seen as he's gonna die anyhow."

"And how do we know he's telling the truth?" Dean glanced over at Sam and frowned. "He could be leading us into a trap."

"He could be," Bobby agreed, "and I sure don't think he's telling the truth. But, it's worth checking out."

"Bobby's right," Sam agreed, "even if it is a trap, we should still check it out."

Dean sat back down and leaned back. He knew they were right, they did need to check even if it was just for peace of mind. "Ok, but we should check it out together. Send us the address and we'll meet you there. If it is a trap, then the more of us the better."

Sam nodded. "Agreed. If your demon is right, then we need to find out if he has Ava. Then we can kill that bitch, Lilith."

Dean went silent and glanced at his brother. The venom in his voice was chilling, and as much as he wanted Lilith to pay for taking Ava, Sam was intent on getting revenge not only for Ava but for sending him to hell.

"I'll meet you boys there."

Dean hung up and turned to his brother. "You sure you can keep your head when we find this demon?"

Sam looked at his brother in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, the little revenge, 'I'm going to kill her myself' speil, I keep hearing."

Sam's face grew dark. "I am going to kill her. Slowly, for what she's done."

"For sending me to hell? Did you happen to notice I'm back? Alive and kicking? And Ava...we both have reason to want her dead. But she has Ava and marching in half cut will get us all killed."

"So, we just let her get away? Let her carry on breaking seals and bringing the damn apocalypse?"

Dean stood up. "Screw the seals. Let her bring the apocalypse, I don't care. It's not like we're winning anyway." He turned and walked to the door. "This is about Ava. Our friend who we let down, who we forgot. Finding her is more important to me than Lilith springing Lucifer from the damn cage. So, if all you want is your revenge, then have at it. But killing Lilith is a sure fire way of killing Ava too. We need to find her alive, Sammy. And I can't, I won't fail her again." He walked out, slamming the door shut behind him, leaving Sam staring after him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Missing**

 **A/N -** Feedback fuels my ego!

 **Chapter five**

My eyes fluttered open, bright light shining down on me, making me turn my head to the side and squint my eyes. I tried to raise a hand to cover them, but I couldn't move, my body strapped to a chair.

"Look, who's finally awake,"

I looked up slowly, my eyes landing on him watching me with a small smirk on his face.

"Someone is here to see you," he said, glancing behind me and nodding to whoever it was.

I knew it was her before she even stepped in front of me. "Lilith," I whispered, my voice shaking slightly with fear. The torture and pain I'd experienced over the last few months would be nothing compared to what she could do to me.

She squatted down in front of me and smiled, "Don't be afraid," her eyes turned white as she reached out to stroke my cheek. "I'm not going to hurt you."

I squeezed my eyes shut, tears sliding down my cheeks, and she stroked them away, her hand soft against my skin. Despite fear rolling through me, I leaned my head into her hand, her gentle touch oddly comforting. "Please," I whispered, opening my eyes, "please just kill me."

"Kill you?" she smiled again, and it made me shudder. "I'm not going to kill you. Not yet." She stood up and turned to the demon behind her. "It's nearly time."

The demon nodded and walked towards me grinning. Lilith clicked her fingers and the restraints holding me to the chair fell to the floor, but I was frozen to the spot, too scared to move, unable to look away from Lilith's smile. He grabbed my throat and lifted me up out of the chair, my fingers clawing at his hands as I struggled to breath. "If you think the last few months were fun, just you wait, sweetheart."

My vision blurred, black spots appearing in front of my eyes as his grip tightened. My hands fell to my sides, Lilith's laughter echoing in my ears, my eyes closing as darkness fell over me.

"This is the place."

After parking Baby out of sight, they stood a few yards away from the abandoned building Bobby's demon had told them where one of Lilith's entourage was camping out.

The building was two stories tall with crumbling walls covered with moss and vines. The rotten wooden door hung slightly open, the windows long gone, shattered pieces of glass littering the ground around the house.

"There's no way this demon was here," Dean said, walking up to the door, glass crunching underneath his feet. He gripped the side and pulled, wood splintering in his hand as the door opened a little. "No frigging way, man,"

They walked slowly inside, guns raised. Dust layered the floor inside like a thick carpet. Dean looked down, noticing footprints that were now covered in a lighter layer of dust. "Someone was here," he said, nodding at the footprints, "but it looks like a while ago."

They carried on walking through the corridor, their own footsteps echoing through the silent, decrepit house. Each room was filled with debris and old furniture, plaster peeling from the walls and covering the already dirty floor.

"Nobody is here," Dean said, holstering his gun, "hell, apart from the footprints, it looks just like any rundown house."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that," Sam said, looking into the room at the end of the corridor, "they were definitely here,"

Dean walked over to the door and looked inside. Chains hung from the ceiling, a metal table pushed to the side and a chair with restraints next to it. Dried blood was everywhere, a large blood stain on the floor underneath the chains, splatters on the walls, the table and the chair. Dean walked into the room and touched the chains, noticing the dried blood caked over them too. His stomach dropped. With the amount of blood in this room...

Bobby walked over to the table and ran his fingers over the metal. "Sulphur. Definitely demons."

"Ya think?" Dean snapped as he pushed the chains away.

"Watch your tone with me, boy," Bobby chided, frowning, "I'm only tryin' to help."

He sighed. "I'm sorry Bobby but look at this place. All the blood..."

"Dean, we don't know for sure this is her blood," Sam said, trying to convince himself as well as the others. "It could be someone else's."

"Someone else? We all know its Ava's blood," He turned to Bobby. "The demon lied, and we took the bait like idiots. I'm done playing games with these sons of bitches..."

The sound of a voice outside cut him off, and all three of them looked at each other and grabbed their guns. They walked quietly to the door, Bobby on the right and Sam on the left.

"Yeah I've made like, 10 deals already in the past couple of days. I swear these people are idiots. I didn't want to come back to this town but, orders are orders..."

Dean nodded towards Bobby, who grabbed the door handle and he raised his gun along with Sam as the voice got closer to them.

"Her? That's why I'm back. Let me tell you, I had fun with her. Lilith..."

Bobby flung open the door, surprising the demon and making him drop his phone. "What the..."

Sam and Dean both shot him before Dean stamped on his phone.

The demon smirked. "shooting me? Really boys? You know bullets can't kill me,"

Dean smiled. "Who said anything about killing you? And, just so you know, those were devil trap bullets."

His smirk dropped as he tried to move, looking around the room in a panic when he couldn't. "What are you going to do? Kill me?"

This time, Dean smirked. "Not yet. We need to have a little chat first."

The demon spat in his face. "I'm not saying anything to you."

Dean wiped his face and nodded at Sam, who walked behind the demon and grabbed his arms. "Oh, you will." He pulled the demon knife out of the back of his pants and looked at it closely before looking back at the demon. "I can bet on it."


	6. Chapter 6

**Missing**

 **A/N -** Lil' bit of torture for ya. As always, feedback is much appreciated.

 **Chapter 6**

The demon sat in the chair that had been pushed against the wall in the blood covered room, inside a devil trap Bobby had painted on the floor.

"Ah, now this brings back memories," he leaned forward towards Dean, who was standing next to the table. "She was quite the screamer."

Dean's jaw clenched as he fought to stay in control. He had sent Bobby and Sam out of the room, much to their disdain, but he had to do this alone. They had decided to drive into town, do some research in the local library. Research on what, he didn't know or care. He stayed silent as he set up the table, a large bottle filled with holy water, with more bottles underneath the table, a large bottle of salt, syringes, knives, and the demon knife. All ready for a few hours of fun.

"So, you're not gonna bit, huh?" the demon said, struggling against his restraints, a touch of panic in his struggles.

Dean smiled as he poured half of the salt into the holy water, mixing it up before filling up a few syringes. "Where is Ava?"

The demon laughed, "Like I'm going to tell you,"

He turned and slammed a syringe into the demon's neck, listening as he screamed out in pain, the salt water flowing through his veins. "Where is Ava?" he repeated calmly.

The demon's hands gripped the arms of the chair he was restrained too, his neck straining and his entire body tense. "I don't know," he said through clenched teeth.

Dean grabbed another syringe and repeated the process in the other side of his neck. "Where is Ava?"

"Aarrgghh! I don't know!" he roared, his body on fire as the salt water flowed through him, fiery red lines appearing under his skin.

Dean sighed as he took another syringe off the table and injecting it into the demon's thigh, "Where is Ava?"

He struggled against the restraints as his skin sizzled. "Are you a broken record? I don't fucking know!"

"You're lying," Dean said, grabbing the demon knife and cutting a long slice down his arm, then grabbing a handful of salt and rubbing it into the cut.

The demon screamed, "No, please...please...stop..."

Dean grabbed another handful of salt and repeated the process on his other arm. "Tell me where she is,"

"I can't! I don't know!" he cried out, still struggling, his knuckles white as he continued to grip onto the chair.

"I can do this all day," Dean assured, filling up another syringe. "Where is she?"

"Screw you!" he laughed manically, throwing his head back. "This is nothing compared to what Lilith would do to me."

Dean turned slightly, "is that what you think?" he smiled, "well then I guess I'll have to get more creative." He grabbed the salt bottle, then the demon's face, forcing his mouth open as he poured salt down his throat before slamming his mouth closed so that he couldn't spit it out.

The demon shook his head from side to side, straining against the restraints but having no other option than to swallow the salt. He could feel his insides burning and he coughed up chucks of blood, "please..." he sputtered, "please..."

Dean injected more holy water into him. "Tell me where she is,"

"No! I don't know!" his head dropped to his chest as he breathed heavily, blood dripping out of his mouth and down his chin. "I swear..."

Dean grabbed his hair and yanked his head back. "See, I know you're lying," he said, his nostrils flaring and his eyes narrowing. "I know you're the son of a bitch who's been torturing her,"

The demon smiled, flashing Dean a mouthful of bloody teeth. "Is that so. And where did you hear that?"

Dean pushed his head back and turned back to the table. "Doesn't matter where I heard it," he alluded, picking up a syringe and flicking it a couple of times before turning back to the demon. "Where is she?"

He smirked. "Oh, I had some fun with her. Her screams were like music to my ears," he laughed, blood still dribbling out of his mouth. "She begged me to stop, and when I told her you were alive? I watched as that last bit of hope died, as she realised you would never save her. It was almost as good as listening to her cries."

Dean stabbed the needle into his neck, before turning and gripping the edge of the table, his jaw clenching and his eyes closing as he took a deep breath. He knew the demon was trying to get into his head, trying to push him into killing him before finding out where Ava was.

The demon strained against the restraints, the holy water coursing through him almost unbearable. He coughed, blood spraying out over him, "she pleaded with me to kill her, begged me to put her out of her misery. But it was just too much fun not to carry on..."

Dean spun around and punched him in the face, grabbed the demon knife and went to stab him, when he felt a hand grip his arm and pull him back.

"Dean, no!"

He turned to see Sam holding his arm, Bobby standing just behind him. "Get off me," he demanded through clenched teeth, trying to pull his arm out of Sam's grasp.

"No, Dean. We need him!"

Dean shrugged him off, throwing the knife onto the table and walking out of the room.

The demon started to laugh, the sound echoing through the room and following Dean as he started to pace the corridor.

"Dean,"

He looked up and frowned. "Save the speech, Bobby,"

Bobby raised his hands. "No speech. Just checking how you are, son,"

"How I am? I'm pissed, that's how I am. At myself, at Sam, at you, and at that son of a bitch tied to that chair," he sighed and rubbed his face before looking back at Bobby. We let her down in more ways than I can count. She should have been the first person I thought about when I got top side."

Bobby sighed. "We all played our part son, and we will have to live with that for the rest of our days. But right now, we need to focus on getting her back."

They both heard the demon scream out, and they rushed back into the room to see Sam standing over him, the demon knife in his hand as he plunged it into the demon's thigh and twisting it around a couple of times before removing it then pouring holy water into the wound.

"Tell us where she is," he demanded as he walked around to the other leg, the knife poised and ready to do the same damage.

The demon cried out in pain. "I swear...I swear I don't know!"

"Sammy,"

He turned at the sound of his brother's voice, standing up straight and holding out his hand with the demon knife in it. Dean took it gratefully and smiled. "You know, I've always wondered if chinese water torture would work with a demon. Except instead of just plain old water, we replaced it with holy water instead." He put the demon knife on the table, "It'll be interesting to see what happens, don't ya think?"

The demon's eyes widened slightly. "You wouldn't..."

"Wouldn't I? You know where Ava is, you son of a bitch. So, until you tell us, I will gladly tear you limb from limb. Maybe I'll even let you live and let Lilith have you before I kill her." He picked up the bottle of holy water and smiled. "Let's get this party started."


	7. Chapter 7

**Missing**

 **A/N -** Any feedback is much appreciated! Let me know what you think.

 **Chapter seven**

I closed my eyes, trying to focus on anything but the pain radiating through my body. He'd taken his time this time, cutting and slicing into me for hours before throwing me into a dark, dirty room.

There was nothing but rubbish littering the room, so I lay down and curled up into a ball, my breathing short and shallow. I pressed my hands against my side in an effort to stop the bleeding, sobbing quietly at the pain. I was tired. I didn't think my body, or my mind could take much more. Moving slightly, pain lanced through me and I gasped, tears prickling my eyes, and I squeezed them shut, trying to regulate my breathing as I kept the pressure on my side, but I could feel the blood flowing between my fingers. I was trembling, my eyes blurring as I took a shaky breath, images of Dean flashing through my mind as I allowed the coming darkness envelope me, not knowing if I was going to wake up again.

Dean, Sam and Bobby listened to the screams and shouts from the demon in the other room. They had left him tied to the chair after slicing deep wounds into his arms and legs, then packing them with holy water soaked salt.

"I don't think he knows anything, Dean." Sam said, his arms crossed as he leaned back against the door frame. "We've been here for hours and we're no further in finding Ava."

"He knows something alright," Dean replied, frowning. "He's been torturing her for months and he doesn't know where she is? He's lying."

"Then why isn't he with her now? Why come back to this town if she isn't here?" Sam questioned, "he's here for a reason Dean. I'm just not sure if it's to do with Ava." As much as he hated to admit it, he knew that this was a ploy, a distraction from finding Lilith and killing her. Finding Ava was important, but so was finding Lilith. The fate of the world depended on it.

"Sam's right," Bobby agreed, "he sure ain't here for a holiday, that's for sure. He was ordered to come here, and I'm guessing by his boss."

Dean stood up and walked back into the room. He grabbed a bottle of holy water and threw it over the demon. "Why are you here?"

The demon hissed through his teeth as his skin sizzled before smirking. "A little demon deal here, a little there. Just adding a few more souls to my resume."

Dean's jaw clenched, and his eyes narrowed. He turned back to the table and picked up the demon knife, turning back around slowly. "I'll ask one more time or you lose a finger. Why are you here?"

The demon raised his brows, the corner of his mouth curling into a half smile. "I told you. Making a few deals."

He stepped forward and gripped the demons right hand, sawing at his index finger until it fell to the floor, blood spurting out onto Dean's shirt.

"Aarrgghh! Stop! Ok! I'll tell you!"

Dean glanced over his shoulder to look at Sam and Bobby, who were both standing near the doorway watching their exchange.

"I'm here...I'm here because..." he looked back up, a malicious smile spreading across his face. "I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to own some prime real estate in this fine town! So many treasured memories."

Dean reached forward and grabbed his collar, "you think this is a joke?"

"Oh,I think it's hilarious," the demon said, the smile never leaving his face.

"How about I cut off each finger, huh?" He threatened, the demon knife poised above his hand. "Then maybe I'll start in on your toes. And if you still aren't talking? I'll start at your joints. I'll take you apart piece by piece until your nothing but a talking head."

"Go ahead," he taunted, "I was tortured in hell for a millennia, this is nothing."

Dean smiled as he cut off another finger, screams echoing throughout the room. "You seem to forget that I was trained by Alastair himself in hell. So what you think was torture, is nothing compared to what I can do to you."

The demon's eyes widened slightly at the mention of Alastair's name. "Alastair..." He struggled as Dean kept his grip on his hand, cutting off his thumb. "Please...ok...no more jokes...I'll tell you!" He looked at his hand, blood spurting from his missing fingers. Lilith had ordered him to stall them but knowing Dean had been trained under Alastair was enough for him to end it. He looked at his fingers on the floor then grinned. "She knew you'd come here, you idiots. I'm here to stall you while she breaks the last seal."

"I don't give a rat's ass about the fucking seals. Where is she?"

The demon laughed. "She's been here the whole time, waiting for you to find her. She's been waiting for a very long time."

They all looked at each other in shock, before Dean rushed towards the demon and grabbed his bloodied shirt. "Where."

"Basement."

They all rushed out of the room towards the one door they didn't manage to check before the demon turned up. Dean kicked it open, a musty dank smell assaulting his nostrils and he ran down the stairs. The room was pitch black and he couldn't see anything. "Ava?" he called out softly. "Sammy, lights."

Sam fumbled against the wall, searching for the light switch, flipping it on once he had found it.

They scanned the room until their eyes landed on a figure huddled up in the far corner of the room. "Ava," Dean breathed as he rushed over to her, squatting down and reaching out his hand to touch her when he stopped abruptly. "Ava?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Missing**

 **A\N -** Please leave any feedback. It keeps me writing!

 **Chapter 8**

Sam and Bobby came to a stop behind Dean as he touched Ava's arm and gently pulled her towards them.

"No," Dean pulled back, shocked as he fell back onto the floor. "No..."

Ava's body, or what used to be her body, was curled up into a half fetal position, her bony arms curled into her empty chest, her knees bent up like she was cuddling herself, tattered and stained clothes hanging off her shriveled, leathery skin. Strands of hair hung from what skin was left clinging onto her skull, her empty eye sockets staring back at him. The floor around her was stained dark from blood and decomposition, showing that she had been lying here for months, her body discarded like trash.

The demon's laughter echoed throughout the house, but Dean couldn't move. "No..." he whispered, his throat thickening as waves of nausea passed through him. She couldn't be dead, he thought, his eyes falling to a silver chain hanging from her neck. He had bought it for her as a reminder of him before he went to hell. Which now seemed ironic, seen as he had forgotten about her when he had got out of hell.

He didn't hear Sam or Bobby until he felt a hand touch his shoulder, and he looked up with wide, glassy eyes to see Bobby standing above him.

"Dean...I'm sorry son..." he said, squeezing his shoulder.

He nodded, turning back to Ava, letting the tears that had filled his eyes stream down his face, unable to look away. He had done this. If he had only called her, then maybe they would have found her sooner. Memories of her flashed through his mind. From the first day he had saw her, he knew she was someone special.

 _We walked into the bar, the sound of shouting making us turn our heads, only to watch as this feisty blonde grab a chair and smash it over some guys back, making him fall to the floor._

 _"Sammy, I think I'm in love," I said, watching in awe as she started to kick and punch the unfortunate guy while screaming obscenities at him. Two barmen had tried to pull her away, and at first, she held up her hands surrender and following them, only to rush back over and kick the guy in the face._

 _I walked over to her smiling and touched her arm. "Come on, sweetheart. I think he's had enough."_

 _"I'm not your sweetheart," she growled before clocking me in the face._

 _I heard Sam snort as my hands flew up to my face. "Son of a..."_

 _She pushed past me and stormed out of the bar, mumbling under her breath and slamming the door behind her._

 _I walked back over to the bar, ordered a whiskey and sat down. "What the hell just happened?"_

 _The barman slid the glass over to him. "Said something to her and grabbed her ass. Didn't take too kindly to it."_

 _They watched as two of his friends picked him up off the floor and left the bar. "I ain't never seen shit like that before." The barman said before going to serve another patron._

 _I knocked back the whiskey and turned to Sam, "I need to meet that little firecracker."_

 _Sam snorted. "Dean, she just punched you in the face after kicking the crap outta that guy."_

 _I grinned and rubbed the side of my jaw. "I know. That's my kinda girl right there."_

Soon enough, they had realised she was another hunter, in town on the same case they were working. They had worked well together, inviting Ava to stay and hunt with them. She'd agreed, and they'd hunted together ever since, until he went to hell.

Hell. If only he hadn't of went to hell. He'd failed her. He had let this happen to her, let Lilith take her, torture and kill her and for what? What she must have gone through, what she must have thought...knowing deep inside she was going to die, knowing we had left her... "I'm so sorry sweetheart," he murmured, his voice breaking with emotion. "I was supposed to be there for you, to protect you and keep you safe. I should have saved you. And now.." he let out a sob, "now I've lost you without you knowing I love you. And I can't...I can't do this without you...I don't know how..."

He hadn't even realised Bobby had left the room, until he rushed back in, breathing heavily. "Sam's gone. Demon too. He's off to find Lilith..."

"Let him." Dean said in a flat, monotone voice. "I don't care."

"Don't say that," Bobby said, a little shocked. "I know...I know you're hurtyin', we all are, but we need..."

Dean turned slightly. "We need what Bobby? To save Sam? I couldn't even save Ava...so you tell me why?" he sighed deeply, "why should I car? They've won Bobby. They used her against me, and she ended up dead. Because of me. She was dead before we even realised she was missing. They played us and Lucifer's getting out one way or another." He turned back to Ava's body, guilt flooding through him. "So, let Sam kill her. It's what he wanted to do anyway."

"He's going to drain that demon Dean. We need to stop him," Bobby pleaded, trying to get him to see reason. "The damn apocolypse is comin'..."

Dean shrugged. "So? I'm done Bobby. I can't..." he took a deep breath and stood up slowly. "Just...just gimme a minute..."

Bobby nodded sadly. He'd never seen Dean this broken, this defeated before. Not even before going to hell, or after John died. Or Sam for that matter. He knew he'd loved her, we all loved her, but seeing him like this...this wasn't something he was going to bounce back from. "Ok," he said softly. "I'll be outside when you need me."

Dean just stood there, looking down at the body, not paying much attention to Bobby leaving the room. He needed to move her , get her out of this rancid hole and give her the hunter's funeral she deserved. He walked out of the room in a kind of daze, and towards the room where she had been strung up and tortured. Sam and the demon were long gone, the table upturned, the ground wet from holy water and broken syringes littering the floor. He spotted the demon's fingers a couple inches away from the chair that had pushed to the side, and he kicked them aside before looking around the room.

The room Ava had been tortured in, where she had begged and pleaded for her life, only to be laughed at in return. The room that was covered in her dried blood, where she was told that he was still alive, that he had forgotten her. That they all had forgotten her.

His jaw tightened, his fists clenching by his side as the anger built up inside him, and he punched the door before walking into the middle of the room and picking up the chair, throwing it hard enough against the wall for it to splinter into pieces.

She deserved better, he thought, grabbing a broken leg of the chair with trembling hands and slamming it over and over against the table, grunting each time he hit his mark. If only he had looked for her first instead of the angel that pulled him out of the pit. If only he had the balls to tell her he loved her...if only he had never made a deal in the first place and just excepted Sam's death...if only...if only...

He fell to his knees sweating profusely, breathing heavily as the anger faded away and he realised he would never see her smile again or hear her melodic laugh that would always make her laugh along with her. He would never watch her kick some demon's ass, the seriousness on her face as she concentrated and the triumphant look when she gained the upper hand...

He covered his face with his hands and fell apart, his whole body shaking from the force of his sobs. "Please...give her back to me...I'm begging you...please..."

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up. "Bobby..."

"I'm sorry Dean," he said, his own eyes filling with tears as he watched the man he thought of as a son, break apart in front of him. His own guilt weighed heavy on his heart. He should have tried harder, reached out to her and made her open up to him. Hell, he should never have let her leave.

And now it was too late.

Now she was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

**Missing**

 **A/N -** We are coming to the end of this story, so there will be some scenes and dialogue from the season 4 finale 'Lucifer Rising'. For the purpose of my story, I have changed it up a little. Any feedback is greatly appreciated and keeps me writing! Enjoy!

 **Chapter nine**

"Ruby."

She walked past Sam into the derelict building he had been waiting in for her, a slight smile on her face. "Sam, I got to say, I was surprised you called."

He shut the door and grabbed her arms. "Cut the crap. Did you know?"

"About Ava?" she shook her head. "No. I'm sorry Sam..."

He pushed her aside and walked into the room. "Save it. I need to know where Lilith is, and I have one of her closest entourage."

Ruby followed him, her eyes widening when she saw the demon lying on a table. "Is that..."

Sam smirked and nodded. Just looking at the son of a bitch made his blood boil. "He's the one who killed Ava. Who Lilith sent to stall us while she breaks the last seal."

The demon tired to move, craning his neck to look at Ruby. "Ruby, Lilith has been looking for you."

She walked over to him and smirked. "She hasn't been looking very hard then has she?" She looked back up at Sam. "No restraints? Does that mean..."

He turned away. He wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of proving him right. That he needed to do this to kill Lilith. "She needs to die, and this is the only way I can kill her." Drinking the demon blood had sent a rush of euphoria through him, his power recharging and buzzing inside of him. His anger seemed to fuel it even more and he knew it would be enough to kill that bitch. For Ava, for Dean, and for himself.

Ruby's mouth curled up into a half smile. "What's the plan?"

Sam looked over at the demon, raising a hand. "He talks," he squeezed his hand slowly into a fist, watching as the demon's neck arched and his body tensed up.

"Aarrgghh!" he screamed out, his remaining fingers splayed out, blood spurting from the stumps of his missing fingers. "Aarrgghh...stop...please..."

Ruby watched Sam's face as he used his powers against the demon. She could see his anger bubbling to the surface, his jaw clenched, and his eyes narrowed as he concentrated. She'd never seen him so determined, so intent on getting what he wanted. Ava dying seemed to have been a good thing. I'd have to thank to thank Lilith before Sam killed her, she thought with a smirk.

"Where's Lilith?" Sam said lowly, his hands still raised. This demon knew more than he let on, he could feel it. And he was going to get it out of him one way or another.

The demon laughed. "Tortured by not one, but two Winchester's! Must be my lucky day."

Sam closed his hand into a fist, watching with a stoic face as the demon squeezed his eyes shut and tensed up.

"I thought you wanted to find your whore," he teased, breathing heavily as his body relaxed slightly. "Lilith sure knows how to getcha going, don't she Sammy?"

He took a deep breath. He wasn't going to let this demon get to him. He knew Lilith planned it, knowing what it would do to them. "Where is she." He growled through clenched teeth. His patience was wearing thin. He wanted Lilith's head on a plate in front of him.

"I'll tell you, if you kill me. What you do to me, what Dean did to me...it's nothing compared to what she will do. Alastair may have been the master of torture, but Lilith...Lilith is the queen."

Sam lowered his hand. "Deal."

"Tomorrow night. Midnight. She's going to be at a convent. St. Mary's, Ilchester, Maryland."

"What's the final seal?" Ruby asked, stepping forward, her arms crossed over her chest.

The demon shook his head. "I don't know." He watched as Sam raised his hand, "No! I don't know! But I do know only she can break it."

Ruby looked up at Sam, her brows rising. "You ready for this, Sam?" she asked, uncrossing her arms and taking a step towards him. "You know what you have to do..."

He looked at the demon on the table. Was he ready? The consequences of what he had to do to kill Lilith...he didn't know if he could come back from that. The pure anger he felt coursing through him...would that change after he killed her? Dean and Bobby...he knew they disagreed with him about using his powers, but maybe they were given to him for a reason other than to be used for evil. They didn't seem to understand that this was the only way. And the bitch needed to die. He could deal with the aftermath after the fact, after stopping her from freeing Lucifer. He looked down at Ruby. "I know."

The demon struggled on the table. "Hey! We had a deal!"

Sam smiled, his hands ghosting over Ruby's body, and she watched him squat down in front of her, trailing a hand down her leg and unsheathing the knife from around her calf. He stood back up, his towering frame almost frightening as he looked down at her. He grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her head back, her gasp turning into a silent moan as he made a thin cut on her neck. He leaned forward and licked away the blood.

"You promised! We made a deal!" the demon yelled, struggling to move on the table.

Sam looked at him and smirked, holding the knife up in front of him. "Don't worry, the deal is still on. I just need one more thing before I do..."

The flames climbed high up in the sky, flickering in the crisp nights air as they consumed what was left of Ava's body.

Dean stood a few metres away, the intense heat from the fire stinging his face. And yet he couldn't look away as he watched the flames leap and his, plumes of black grey smoke filling the air around him.

He felt Bobby's presence beside him but neither felt the need to talk. The pain of losing her was crippling, regrets and guilt weighing heavy on his heart. There were no more tears to cry, and he continued to watch her burn with a pained expression.

Bobby glanced over at Dean and sighed. They had all known this could be one of the outcomes of searching for Ava, but they had held out hope she was still alive. But to find out that she had been dead for months, before we had even realised she was missing was heartbreaking. He'd seen his fair share of death with this job, buried too many friends. It never got easier, but seeing her...he'd never felt this much pain, this much heart-ache since his wife Karen died. He had saw her like a daughter he never had, the boys like his sons. He had never expected to live longer than any of them. Tears filled his eyes and wiped them away, clearing his throat before resting his hand on Dean's shoulder. He glanced at him for a second before looking back at the fire. "I'm sorry Dean," Bobby said quietly. "I'll be inside if you need me."

Dean nodded, not bothering to turn and follow. He couldn't leave her here alone. He'd already failed her in the worst possible way, the least he could do was make sure she was laid to rest properly.

Castiel appeared next to him, watching the fire in silence for a minute before turning to Dean. "It's time."

"No."

Castiel looked at him. He could sense his pain at the loss of Ava, but the fate of the world was at stake. "Lilith is about to break the final seal."

"I don't care."

Cas frowned. "Dean, we need..."

He turned, his empty expression quickly turning to anger. "You need what, Cas? For me to help you? Give me one good reason why I should."

"Lilith is..."

He let out a somber laugh. "I don't give a rat's ass about Lilith. I called for you Cas. I needed your help, and where were you? I begged for you to help us find her, and I didn't get squat...so screw you Cas."

Castiel looked down at the floor. He had heard Dean's prayers to help him. But his orders were not to respond because they knew she was already dead. "We've been through much together you and I. And I'm sorry it ended like this."

He scoffed. "Sorry? Ava is dead and the apocalypse is nigh. You need a bigger word than sorry."

Cas watched the fire for a moment. "Try to understand. This is long foretold. This is your..."

"Destiny?" he fully turned to face Cas, his expression hard. "Don't give me that holy crap. It's all a bunch of lies, you poor, stupid son of a bitch. It's just a way for your bosses to keep you in line. You know what's real? Ava. People. Families. That's real. And you're gonna watch them all burn?"

"What is so worth saving?" he indicated to Ava's burning body. "I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you. I see your guilt, anger, confusion. In paradise, all is forgiven. You'll be at peace, be with Ava, with Sam."

Dean took a step forward. He didn't get it, he didn't fully understand how Cas could just take everything at face value. To just except what he was told without ever questioing it. "You can take your peace and shove it up your lily white ass. Because I'll take the pain and the guilt. It's a lot better than being some stepford bitch in paradise."

Cas's brow furrowed. "Sam needs to be stopped Dean...what would you have me do?"

Dean moved past him and began to walk away. "I don't care. I just don't care Cas." He felt a whoosh of air fan across his back and he sighed before walking into the room, Bobby grabbing a beer, popping off the top and handing it to him.

"You ok?"

Dean took the beer gratefully, taking a long swip. "No." He walked into the main room and slumped down on the sofa. The apocalypse was on the horizon, yet he couldn't bring himself to care. "Cas confirmed Lilith is going to break the last seal."

Bobby leaned back onto his desk and crossed his arms. "And Sam?"

Dean shrugged and took another sip. "That we need to stop him." Sighing, he leaned his head back on the sofa. Lilith needed to be stopped, so why stop Sam? He's wanted her dead ever since he went to hell. "What am I supposed to do, Bobby? Ava is gone, Sam has disappeared..." he rubbed his face. "I just can't..."

Bobby nodded and sighed. "I can't tell you what to do Dean. But we need to think about the bigger picture here. Losing Ava is hard on us all and I know your hurtin', we all are. But Sam is in trouble and the damn apocalypse is nigh, we can't just sit on our asses when we have a shot of stopping the damn thing."

"I know!" he sat up and placed his head on his hands. He knew what they needed to do. He knew this was their only choice to stop this, to potentially save Sam from being manipulated even further by that demon bitch, to stop him from drinking that poison. But all he wanted to do was join Ava on that fire. His life would never be the same without her. "I just..."

Cas reappeared in the middle of the room, making both men jump slightly. "We have to find Sam now."

Dean stood up. "What? Where is he?"

Cas shook his head. "I don't know, but I know who does. We have to stop him from killing Lilith."

Dean frowned. "Why?"

"Lilith doesn't just break the seal, she _is_ the final seal. She dies, the end begins."


	10. Chapter 10

**Missing**

 **A/N -** So, this is it. There will be dialogue from the s4 finale 'Lucifer Rising' and a few changes to fit with my story. Feedback is much appreiciated!

 **Warning -** Angst. Lots of angst.

 **Chapter Ten**

 **St Mary's Convent, Ilchester - Night**

Lilith walked into the sanctuary, a goblet of blood cradled in her hands. This day had been long foretold, everything she did, everything Azazel did was to lead them to this moment. Finally her father would be free. She placed the goblet on top of the altar and smiled, sensing his presence.

"Sam."

He walked around the corner and stood at the end of the corridor, his head low as he looked at her, a small smirk playing on his lips. "Lilith." He began to stalk towards her, his hands clenching into fists by his sides. It was time for her to die and he was going to enjoy hearing her screams. "You sent my brother to hell. You killed Ava."

She turned to face him. "I guess I did, Didn't I?" She shrugged and raised her hand, the door between them slamming shut. "That was a shame. I did like her." She murmured to herself, stepping down from the altar and fully facing the door, waiting for Sam to enter.

Castiel and Dean appeared suddenly in Chuck's living room, making him look up in surprise.

"Dean? Cas? W...what are you doing here? T...t...this isn't supposed to happen..."

Dean shrugged. "Yeah, well, we're making it up as we go along," he glanced at the computer screen behind him. "Is that..."

Chuck nodded, grabbing a glass and a bottle of whiskey, pouring himself a very large drink. "It is,"

"Did you know?" he asked quietly, pain evident in his voice, the image of her decomposed corpse flashing through his mind. He knew that image would never go away.

Chuck knocked back his drink and poured another. "Not until after...after you..."

Dean nodded and looked away, trying to get a hold on his emotions, taking a shaky breath and cleared his throat before looking back at Chuck. "Where?"

"St Mary's Convent, Ilchester, Maryland."

He frowned. "A convent."

Chuck forgoed the glass and drank straight from the bottle. "Yeah, but you guys aren't supposed to..."

The computer screen started to flicker and the whole house began to shake, bright light appearing through the slats. Chuck stood up. "Aw man! Not again!"

Cas looked around as the entire house shook around them them. "It's the archangel!" He turned to Dean. "I'll hold him off, I'll hold them all off! Just stop Sam!" He touched Dean's forehead and he disappeared.

Chuck stood next to Cas and looked up at him. "You think he can stop him?"

"I hope so."

Dean suddenly appeared outside the convent. "What the..."

He brushed himself off and looked around. "Abandoned convent. Not creepy at all," he mumbled to himself, spotting the car Sam must have stolen to get here. He walked over to it, noticing the trunk had been left open, the demon's body hanging halfway out of it. He sighed when he saw the demon's blood soaked neck. He knew why Sam had taken the demon, his misguided belief that he was meant to kill Lilith. His revenge for sending him to hell, and now, for Ava's death.

"Damn it Sammy," he mumbled, walking over to the convent's entrance. The angels had played them both, encouraging them to save the seals from being broken, knowing that it was making no difference. They wanted Lucifer free. They wanted to bring on the apocalypse.

Hearing raised voices, he kicked the door open and ran into the building, following the voices echoing through the empty corridors.

The doors to the sanctuary flew open and Sam raised his hand, flinging Lilith across the room, and slamming her into the altar. She fell to the ground and looked up at him. He walked closer to her, Ruby staying behind him as he squeezed his hand closed again, smiling at the sound of her cries. "This is for Ava, you bitch."

Dean rushed around the corner, seeing Lilith on the floor against the altar, Sam standing in front of her with his hand raised.

"Damn it," he sighed, rushing towards them. "Sam!"

Ruby turned at the sound of his voice and smirked, raising her own hand to slam shut the doors to the sanctuary.

"Son of a bitch!" He ran up the doors and pounded his fists on them. "Sam!" He knew Ruby was a manipulative bitch and she had Sam right where she wanted him. She had planned this. He had warned Sam over and over again. He should have killed her when he had the chance. He continued to pound his fists on the door, he needed to get in there before his brother did something stupid. "Sam! Sammy!"

Sam walked slowly towards Lilith and smiled. This was it. This was what he had been waiting for since she had sent Dean to hell. "I've been waiting for this for a very long time. Sending Dean to hell, killing Ava...I'm going to make sure you suffer for what you've done."

She smiled up at him. "Then give me your best shot."

He reached out his hand, concentrating all his power solely on Lilith. The power within him was intense, growing with his need to make her pay for everything she did. He could hear his heart beating in his chest...bubump...bubump...bubump...

Lilith convulsed in front of him, trying to catch her breath after every squeeze of his hand, crying out in pain as white light flashed through her. He was enjoying this, being in control, knowing her life was in his hands. Nobody could stop him from killing her.

He lowered his hand slowly, sure he could hear a faint call of his name over the the sound of his beating heart...bubump...bubump...bubump...

He turned to look at the door, a distinct sound of banging and shouting distracting him. "Dean?"

His heartbeat quickened, the thumping in his ears growing even louder, making the sound of shouting even fainter. He frowned. Was it Dean shouting his name? "Dean?" He turned to Ruby, his hand dropping to his side. "Something's wrong..."

Ruby started to scream at him and grabbed his arm, pulling him around towards Lilith. "What are you waiting for?! Now! Sam! Now!"

Lilith started to laugh. "This is all you've got? You turned yourself into a freak for what? Revenge? I'm sorry, but that's honestly adorable."

He turned back to Lilith and raised his arm again. "Shut. Your. Mouth." He put put all his concentration into his power, hurling it at Lilith, watching her convulse as her body glowed and flickered with white light. She gasped one last time, her eyes wide, before falling to the floor.

Sam lowered his hand, the sound of his heartbeat slowing and fading to nothing. She was dead. Finally, she was dead. He turned to look at Ruby, his smile dropping when he saw blood beginning to flow from Lilith's body in a steady stream, forming into what looked like a deliberate pattern. "What the hell?"

Ruby watched the blood in awe, her mouth open. "I can't believe it,"

Sam frowned, confusion clouding his thoughts. "Ruby, what's going on?"

She looked up at him with wide eyes, her mouth curling up into a smile. "You did it. It was a little touch and go there for a while, but...you did it."

His stomach dropped. "What? What...what did I do?"

She looked back at the blood still flowing from Lilith's body, a clear pattern forming on the ground. "You opened the door." She breathed, looking up at him. "And now he's free at last."

Sam took a step back and shook his head in denial. This can't be happening, he thought, refusing to believe it. Killing her was supposed to stop it. to stop Lucifer from getting out of the cage. "No, no, no, he...Lilith...Ava...I stopped her. I killed her!"

"And it is written that the first demon shall be the last seal." She looked back at Lilith's corpse. "And you just bust her open."

Sam's hands flew to his head. No, no, no, no, no, this can't be happening. The last year...drinking demon blood...Ava missing then finding her body... "Oh my god."

Ruby let out a laugh. "Guess again."

Dean stepped away from the door and looked around the corridor for something big enough and heavy enough to break through the heavy door. He spotted a large candleabra and grabbed it, using it to pound on the door. He needed to stop Sam before he did something he was going to regret.

What had he done? This wasn't supposed to happen! He thought in a panic. Killing Lilith was supposed to stop this! He looked over at Ruby. She was watching the blood flow into a deliberate pattern, a wide smile plastered on her face. "You bitch. You lying bitch." He thrust out his hand at her in an attempt to use his power, but he fell to the floor clutching his head in pain.

Ruby's grin widened. "Don't hurt yourself Sammy. You shot your payload on the boss."

"The blood...you poisoned me..." He though he had been helping people. That he could use these powers that were intended for evil, for something good, but it had all been a lie.

Ruby knelt down in front of him. "No. IT wasn't the blood. It was you and your choices. I just gave you the options, and when you found Ava...well, Lilith always did have a flair for the dramatics. She knew you would lose faith and she made sure you would get back on track. I know it's hard to see it now...but this is a miracle. Everything Azazel did, and Lilith did...just to get you here. And you were the only one who could do it."

Sam shook his head. "Why? W...why me?"

She touched his arm and smiled. "Because...because it had to be you Sammy. It always had to be you. You saved us. You set him free. And he's gonna repay you in ways that you can't even imagine."

Dean burst through the door, dropping the candelabra on the ground and pulling the demon knife out of the back of his jeans. He glanced at the pattern forming on the floor before rushing towards his brother.

Ruby stood up and smirked. "You're too late. He's coming."

"I don't care." He advanced toward her, watching her eyes widen as Sam quickly stood and grabbed her arms from behind, holding her as Dean stabbed her before throwing her body to the floor.

Dean looked at his brother. He looked broken, scared, tears filling his eyes as he grabbed Dean's arm. "I'm..I'm sorry..."

The blood pouring out of Lilith's body stopped as the symbol on the floor completed, a bright light emanating from within it and filling the room. They both covered their eyes as they looked at each other in horror.

"Dean, I'm sorry...I..."

The entire convent began to tremble, and Dean grabbed Sam's arm. "Sammy lets go,"

Sam grabbed his shirt as Dean tried to pull him away, both of them staring at the light. "Dean...he's coming..."

They ran to the door, but it slammed shut before they could get out. They were stuck in the room as the light got brighter, squinting and shielding their eyes with their arms. This was not the outcome either of them wanted, and soon, Lucifer would be free.

I huddled up in the corner of the room I'd been thrown in, trembling in fear and trying not to look at him. I could feel the sheer power of him filling the room around me. His eyes, they gave off kindness, of hope, nut I knew there was nothing but evil behind them...I knew who he was...

Black smoke circled me, and I scrambled back further into the wall, panic flooding through me. "Please...no...please...aarrgghh!" The smoke forced itself into me, pushing me back into the furthest corner of my mind...

Smiling, she stood up and looked in the broken mirror hanging on the wall, Ava's reflection staring back at her. Turning, her smile widened. "Father."

Lucifer held out his hand and cupped her cheek. "Ruby. You did well my child."


End file.
